A Practical Stoic Handbook
A complete system for daily Stoic practice based on impression management
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Table of Contents
1. Core Principles
2. The Impression Management System
3. The Waiting Stance
4. Internal Dialogue Techniques
5. Daily Practice
6. Common Situations
7. Advanced Practice
8. Emergency Protocols
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Core Principles
The Foundation
- Everyone wants happiness
- Complete happiness is possible and in your control
- All unhappiness comes from wanting something and not getting it
- Only virtue is truly good, only vice truly evil
- Everything else (externals) is neither good nor bad
What You Control vs. Don't Control
You Control:
- Your beliefs and judgments
- Your responses to impressions
- Your choices about virtue and vice
- Your actions (though not their outcomes)
You Don't Control:
- Other people's actions
- External outcomes
- Your initial impressions
- Natural events and circumstances
The Central Practice
The good consists in making correct use of impressions
Every moment, impressions arise claiming something is true. Your happiness depends entirely on whether you assent to true impressions and refuse false ones.
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The Impression Management System
What Are Impressions?
Impressions are the constant stream of thoughts claiming something is true:
- "Traffic is making me late" (factual)
- "Being late is terrible" (false value judgment)
- "I should get angry about this delay" (inappropriate action impulse)
The Critical Question
"Is this impression trying to make an external seem good, bad, or necessary for my happiness?"
- YES → Target spotted → REFUSE
- NO → Safe → ASSENT if true
The Six-Step Method
(a) Don't Assent to False Value Impressions
Target: Impressions claiming externals are good/evil
- "Getting this promotion is good" → REFUSE
- "Being rejected is terrible" → REFUSE
- "I need their approval" → REFUSE
(b) Don't Assent to Inappropriate Response Impulses
Target: Action impressions based on false values
- "I should get angry about this" → REFUSE
- "I must control this outcome" → REFUSE
- "I need to worry about this" → REFUSE
(c) Consciously Formulate True Value Propositions
Active practice: Create and assent to correct impressions
- "My job is neither good nor bad" → FORMULATE & ASSENT
- "Others' opinions don't define my worth" → FORMULATE & ASSENT
(d) Consciously Formulate True Action Propositions
Active practice: Create virtuous response impressions
- "I should respond with honesty here" → FORMULATE & ASSENT
- "Patience is the appropriate response" → FORMULATE & ASSENT
(e) Assent to Virtue Achievement
Target: Recognizing when you act well
- "I just responded with courage" → ASSENT
- "That was an honest choice" → ASSENT
(f) Character Transformation Over Time
Long-term effect: Correcting impressions changes what impressions arise
- Refusing false value impressions makes them weaker and less frequent
- Assenting to true impressions makes virtuous responses automatic
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The Waiting Stance
Core Attitude
Position yourself like one lying in wait (Ench. 48.3):
- Alert but relaxed
- Ready for the next impression
- Professional vigilance
- Expecting without forcing
Physical Position
- Body: Relaxed but alert
- Breathing: Steady and present
- Posture: Grounded, balanced, ready
- Mental state: "I am ready for whatever impression comes next"
What You're Waiting to Catch
Primary Targets:
- Value impressions about externals ("This is good/bad for me")
- Action impulses based on false values ("I should react emotionally")
What You Don't Catch:
- Neutral facts ("The sky is blue")
- Virtue impressions ("I should act with courage")
- Simple pleasures ("This sunset is beautiful")
Template Phrases
Getting into position:
- "Here I am, ready and waiting"
- "I'm positioned for whatever comes next"
- "Alert and prepared"
When impression arrives:
- "Ah, there it is"
- "Time to choose"
After handling:
- "Well done, back to ready"
- "Ready for the next"
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Internal Dialogue Techniques
Starting Conversations with Yourself
Basic starters:
- "What's going on in my mind right now?"
- "What impression just came up?"
- "Let me check what I'm thinking about this"
When something bothers you:
- "What exactly is the impression that's troubling me?"
- "What story am I telling myself about this situation?"
- "What judgment am I making that's causing this feeling?"
Keeping Conversations Going
Evaluation questions:
- "Is this impression about something I control or don't control?"
- "Is this trying to make an external seem good or bad?"
- "What would be the true way to see this situation?"
Reformulation questions:
- "What would be a more accurate way to think about this?"
- "If this external is neither good nor bad, how should I see it?"
- "What would be the virtuous response here?"
Making Internal Dialogue Continuous
Think of it like background music:
- Always quietly there
- You can tune in when needed
- Doesn't interfere with other activities
Layered attention:
- Foreground: External activities
- Background: Continuous impression monitoring
Link to physical actions:
- Every breath: quick ready stance check
- Every step: brief impression scan
- Transitions: dialogue opportunities
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Daily Practice
Morning Foundation (5 minutes)
The Day Ahead Review:
1. Think of 3 things that might happen today
2. For each, ask: "Is this something I control?"
3. Practice responses:
- Control it: "I will act virtuously toward this"
- Don't control it: "This is neither good nor bad"
Take the waiting stance:
- "Today I take the waiting stance"
- "I am ready for every impression that comes"
- "I will catch each one and choose well"
Real-Time Practice
Continuous cycle:
2. Impression arrives → "There it is"
3. Evaluate → "External value claim or safe?"
4. Choose → Refuse false, assent to true, formulate better
5. Act → Virtuously if action needed
6. Acknowledge → "Well done" if virtuous
7. Return to ready → Back to waiting stance
Evening Review (10 minutes)
Reflect on:
1. One moment when I correctly refused a false value impression
2. One moment when I acted virtuously with something I control
3. One moment when I got confused about control
- What would I do differently?
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Common Situations
Work Stress
False impression: "I need this project to succeed to be happy"
Transition: "I'm making the outcome seem necessary for my happiness"
Control focus: "I control my effort, honesty, and professional conduct"
Relationship Conflict
False impression: "They need to apologize for me to feel better"
Transition: "I'm making their actions crucial to my peace"
Control focus: "I control whether I respond with patience and fairness"
Health Concerns
False impression: "This illness will ruin my life"
Transition: "I'm treating my health as if it determines my happiness"
Control focus: "I control my response to treatment and maintaining my character"
Traffic/Delays
False impression: "This delay is making me late and stressed"
Transition: "I'm making traffic timing seem important to my wellbeing"
Control focus: "I control my patience and safe driving"
Social Rejection
False impression: "Their rejection means something is wrong with me"
Transition: "I'm making others' approval necessary for my worth"
Control focus: "I control my honesty, kindness, and self-respect"
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Advanced Practice
Maintaining Ready Position During Conversations
What to watch for:
- "I need them to agree with me" → REFUSE
- "Their opinion of me matters" → REFUSE
- "I should get defensive" → REFUSE
Dual awareness:
- External: Engaging with the other person
- Internal: Monitoring impressions about the conversation
Going from External Focus to Internal Control
Recognition: "I notice I'm completely absorbed in this external outcome"
Transition: "What IS in my control right now?"
Refocus: "My response, my virtue, my next appropriate action"
Character Development Indicators
Beginner: Catching impressions after emotions arise
Intermediate: Recognizing impressions as they form
Advanced: Naturally receiving mostly correct impressions
Master: Automatic correct use, fewer false impressions arise
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Emergency Protocols
When Overwhelmed
1. STOP → "Back to ready stance"
2. BREATHE → "What impression just captured me?"
3. EVALUATE → "Was that a false value claim?"
4. REFUSE → If yes, refuse it now
5. FORMULATE → Create the true impression
6. RETURN → Back to waiting stance
When Angry
Current impression: "They shouldn't have done that"
Refuse this, assent to: "Others' actions are externals, my virtuous response is my focus"
When Fearful
Current impression: "This bad outcome would destroy me"
Refuse this, assent to: "No external can harm my character or happiness"
When You Lose the Stance
Discovery method:
1. "I was caught up in impressions - no judgment about that"
2. "What was I assenting to that pulled me away?"
3. "Back to ready now"
4. "What's the next impression coming?"
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Key Reminders
The Enemy Lying in Wait
The Single Most Important Question
"Is this something I control?"
- If YES: Act virtuously toward it
- If NO: Accept it as neither good nor bad
The Promise
If you consistently refuse false value impressions about externals and focus only on virtue, you guarantee yourself complete, uninterrupted happiness.
The Practice
This is not theory - it's a daily skill that requires:
- Constant gentle vigilance
- Patient practice
- No self-judgment when you forget
- Immediate return to ready stance when you remember
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The art of impression management through steady readiness - your path to unshakeable happiness.
SOURCES:
Core Stoicism by Grant C. Sterling.
I Receive Impressions by Grant C. Sterling.
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